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How Time Flies

As usual, we start in one place and sidetrack our way to the next one...

February is drawing to a close, meaning we are almost through 2 months of 2023 already. The hardest part for me to believe is that the release of my debut eBook is only a few days away (unless you are reading this after March 1, 2023, in which case I can't believe how many copies were sold!).

I had originally planned to make a monthly blog post, only on Patreon, and only talking about the previous month, but there is so much on my mind right now that I just want to spill it all. I've definitely been posting more here lately, and I hope to continue that even as the months wear on. But enough about plans, let's talk about anxiety and stories.

One thing that has been on my mind a lot lately is how I can go about sharing my book with as many people as possible and how to get feedback from those people. To this point, as I released it serially, only a small handful of people have actually read it. Those who have made it through have given me very positive feedback, but I am very aware that it isn't perfect. The problem is, I don't really have a very big social circle, and most of those in that small circle are either not interested in reading or are not interested in reading mystery/thriller novels.

Outside of getting reviews, I have been trying to figure out how to market the book effectively. I've gotten advice from various YouTube channels on the subject, as well as other blogs, but very much like when I started researching making a YouTube channel, I have found the advice being offered is very generic and out of the box or outdated. Some places say to promote on Google/Facebook/etc. and others say those places are a waste of time. Many articles and videos suggest ways to promote on Amazon, but I am not selling through Amazon (A post about that is due to come soon).

To be honest, I never really expect much when it comes to social media or promoting myself. I wouldn't go so far as to say I suffer from imposter syndrome, but I would say that I often feel it is pointless to try because every single market is so oversaturated. Then I turn around, slap myself, and remember that some of the most renown authors of the past century probably felt pretty similar when they were sending their work into publisher after publisher and being turned down every step of the way.

There is always the failure monster lurking in the back as well, but he has been there my whole life. Fear of failure is pretty common, and most people experience at least some major failure in their life, so I should expect to worry about the possibility that no one buys the book, the YouTube channel and website never see enough traffic to become profitable and I have to slink back into the world of begging companies to pay me (Again, a post on this topic is waiting to be written).

So, why this post? Why am I taking the time on a Monday evening to sit down and type up the things that are bothering me? The answer is a lot simpler than it might seem.

Somewhere in the world, someone is probably experiencing the same kinds of feelings and doubt that I am feeling. Maybe they are publishing their first novel, or working on an especially difficult class, or a project at work is causing them stress. Whatever the cause, they need to know that they are not alone. Maybe they will never stumble upon this blog post, hidden away in the most remote corner of the internet, but maybe they do see it, and maybe it provides some kind of light to help them through a tough moment.

Trying new things can be terrifying, especially when there is no safety net. I have spent the better part of my life too scared to put myself out there. People have told me since I was a child that I should play it safe, that there is no hope of ever amounting to anything more than an average joe who spends his life working 9-5 and winds up 6 feet under with a stone reading "Well, he was alive for a time". I listened to that crap for far too long.

Maybe I won't sell a single novel. Maybe no one will ever be captivated by one of my images hanging on the wall of a house or gallery. Maybe only a small handful of people will ever see me as someone worth being around.

If I never try, those maybes become certainties.

I've overcome a lot in my life. My mother passed away unexpectedly when I was 19, throwing my world into chaos. I joined the army in my early 20's as a way to try and get my life on track and support a growing family. I fought and clawed to get a job that paid enough to build a life for my children where they wouldn't have to worry about where their next meal was coming from or whether we would have a roof over our heads. I've been through a lot, and this is just one more step in the journey.

I've got a lot more to say, and lot more to give so stay tuned to this site if you want more. That's all for now, time to go pick up my oldest from work (side note: when you have kids that start their first job it makes you feel a lot older than you did prior to them entering the workforce), I'll see you all in the next one!

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